Thank you for sound advice Freeze.
These are friends we've known for a while and they do sort of just drop by unnanounced. I guess that I need to open my mouth more. It looks to me like they just switch off from this kid and don't see her destructiveness. Also she is the only kid in her household so she has no manners, politenes or know how of respecting others stuff. I've reached a stage now where I will try to be polite but assertive and if they don't stop her trashing my kids stuff then I will. I've just finished cleaning out Zoey's toy box and it looks all neat now and I'm telling them to put away the toys that are nearest and dearest to them that they don't want other kids to play with.

I do however wish that parents took more responsibility for their kids and disciplined them more. I'm not talkinig about beating them senseless, I'm talking about making them understand why they can't go around doing some of the things they do.. or am I perhaps too strict a parent? I thought I was pretty lenient on my brood lol... And yet they don't trash other kids things?

		Deep Freeze wrote:
		Well joe, my suggestion would be to simply NOT invite them over to your home. (They do ASK first, right??) If they are the kind of friend that just "comes over" unannounced, then they feel "close" enough to you to do so. If that is the case, I would simply explain to your friends that you are on a limited budget and cannot afford to replace the items that are destroyed.  (Of course, they should have offered to pay for the items then and there but that's another story.) People that have children have responsibilities. When ignored, this is a HUGE reason we have the Kirby Lance's and Darryn's of this Board. People that do not have respect for others and never learned manners and decency. If these "friends" of yours refuse to accept the job of teaching their children manners and respect, you need to be more assertive in what is allowed in your home. That is YOUR responsibility!  Will they be offended? Possibly. It is all in how you broach the subject. If they are the kind of people that feel their kid can "do no wrong", you are better off NOT having them around anyway.      joedraper wrote: People who cannot control their children. Um.. ok try keep up with me here, we have these friends ok.. who should NOT have had a kid in the first place but are busy having their second one now. Anyways, yesterday they come over and their kid, aged 3 totally destroys a doll of Zoey's. She bashed it on a concrete floor, ripped it while trying to get it out of a pram and pretty much destroyed it. This doll cost us R450 (not sure what that is in $ or pounds but it's a lot here for a toy. Zoey loves this doll, she walks around 'feeding' it, putting it to sleep, taking it for walks in her dolly pram etc. This doll has face movement, cries, speaks etc. She's had it for some time and this, this creature just destroys it! So this refreshed me that on Christmas day the same couple visited and their little monster picked up Zakk's brand new remote control car and threw it on the floor. The car never worked again after that. The boy had literally  just unwrapped it. So that is two very important things to my children that this thing has now destroyed. She also has a horrible habiit of chewing Zoey's lumpy elephant's trunk (usually when she has a cold so if I don't get it away from her in time she chews it and that's just gross!) She also chewed Zoey's sunglasses. WTF?  The kid cannot talk without whining, has no concept of sharing or just being quiet. Now, my children do get up to their fair amount of shit but they DO NOT, NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL destroy someone elses property just for the fun of it. If I do happen to catch my kids doing something that I think is inapropriate, they get discaplined. The respect their stuff and everyone elses. Why should my kids suffer because of their uneducated friends? Zakk is getting his drums tomorrow and if this child (or any other) goes anywhere near them it will cost a friendship.

Thank you for sound advice Freeze.
These are friends we've known for a while and they do sort of just drop by unnanounced. I guess that I need to open my mouth more. It looks to me like they just switch off from this kid and don't see her destructiveness. Also she is the only kid in her household so she has no manners, politenes or know how of respecting others stuff. I've reached a stage now where I will try to be polite but assertive and if they don't stop her trashing my kids stuff then I will. I've just finished cleaning out Zoey's toy box and it looks all neat now and I'm telling them to put away the toys that are nearest and dearest to them that they don't want other kids to play with.

I do however wish that parents took more responsibility for their kids and disciplined them more. I'm not talkinig about beating them senseless, I'm talking about making them understand why they can't go around doing some of the things they do.. or am I perhaps too strict a parent? I thought I was pretty lenient on my brood lol... And yet they don't trash other kids things?

		Deep Freeze wrote:
		Well joe, my suggestion would be to simply NOT invite them over to your home. (They do ASK first, right??) If they are the kind of friend that just "comes over" unannounced, then they feel "close" enough to you to do so. If that is the case, I would simply explain to your friends that you are on a limited budget and cannot afford to replace the items that are destroyed.  (Of course, they should have offered to pay for the items then and there but that's another story.) People that have children have responsibilities. When ignored, this is a HUGE reason we have the Kirby Lance's and Darryn's of this Board. People that do not have respect for others and never learned manners and decency. If these "friends" of yours refuse to accept the job of teaching their children manners and respect, you need to be more assertive in what is allowed in your home. That is YOUR responsibility!  Will they be offended? Possibly. It is all in how you broach the subject. If they are the kind of people that feel their kid can "do no wrong", you are better off NOT having them around anyway.      joedraper wrote: People who cannot control their children. Um.. ok try keep up with me here, we have these friends ok.. who should NOT have had a kid in the first place but are busy having their second one now. Anyways, yesterday they come over and their kid, aged 3 totally destroys a doll of Zoey's. She bashed it on a concrete floor, ripped it while trying to get it out of a pram and pretty much destroyed it. This doll cost us R450 (not sure what that is in $ or pounds but it's a lot here for a toy. Zoey loves this doll, she walks around 'feeding' it, putting it to sleep, taking it for walks in her dolly pram etc. This doll has face movement, cries, speaks etc. She's had it for some time and this, this creature just destroys it! So this refreshed me that on Christmas day the same couple visited and their little monster picked up Zakk's brand new remote control car and threw it on the floor. The car never worked again after that. The boy had literally  just unwrapped it. So that is two very important things to my children that this thing has now destroyed. She also has a horrible habiit of chewing Zoey's lumpy elephant's trunk (usually when she has a cold so if I don't get it away from her in time she chews it and that's just gross!) She also chewed Zoey's sunglasses. WTF?  The kid cannot talk without whining, has no concept of sharing or just being quiet. Now, my children do get up to their fair amount of shit but they DO NOT, NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL destroy someone elses property just for the fun of it. If I do happen to catch my kids doing something that I think is inapropriate, they get discaplined. The respect their stuff and everyone elses. Why should my kids suffer because of their uneducated friends? Zakk is getting his drums tomorrow and if this child (or any other) goes anywhere near them it will cost a friendship.