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[Vaillant 3.0] Friday, March 03, 2017 10:36:33 PM
There are two ways to make a swiss roll.
One of them is to push Roger Federer down a hill.
[guidogodoy] Monday, February 13, 2017 12:38:46 AM
Now THIS has got to be a joke. Someone told me that Metallica was on the Grammys with Lady Gaga. Wanting to see the trainwreck, I Youtube it and it was...but what I didn't expect was first to see that Megadeth was given props for "Dystopia." "Great," methinks....until I hear what they play upon going to receive the award. NO WAY!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? Yeah, the Grammys are clueless as is the Rock & Roll HoF but to play "Masters of Puppets" and a shitty cover at that when Megadeth gets their first Grammy?!? WHAT A JOKE!!!
The pilot of a small freight plane was getting complacent on his phraseology. Every weekday at 2:15 a.m. when stopped at a small airport, he would check in with: "good morning, Jones Field, guess who?" Well, the controller insisted on proper terminology. He lectured the pilot several times to no avail.
One morning the pilot said his usual: "Jones Field, guess who?" The controller then proptly turned off all the airport lights and responded: "Jones Field, guess where?"
From then on, the pilot used proper flight terminology.
[666ozzypriest666] Sunday, January 17, 2016 8:42:49 AM
How you can make Guido busy for hours ? You give him a piece of paper and write on it "please turn the page" on both sides... HHHHAAAAHHHAA!
SOME OF THE STUFF YOU SEE AND HEAR AROUND CALLED METAL.LOL
I ALLWAYS SAY TO MYSELF.LIKE FUC? IT IS.
THEY CLEAN IT UP,SOFTEN IT AND NUTURE IT AND CALL IT METAL .
WTF MAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN THAT AINT METAL
KEEP THE METAL ALIVE IN EVERY WAY SHAPE AND FORM NOT PARTIAL
HEAR SEE AND FEEL THE METAL TO THE MAX NOT PARTIAL
AMEN
[hellrider 31038] Saturday, March 23, 2013 7:34:35 PM
SOME OF THE STUFF YOU SEE AND HEAR AROUND CALLED METAL.LOL
I ALLWAYS SAY TO MYSELF.LIKE FUC? IT IS.
THEY CLEAN IT UP,SOFTEN IT AND NUTURE IT AND CALL IT METAL .
WTF MAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN THAT AINT METAL
KEEP THE METAL ALIVE IN EVERY WAY SHAPE AND FORM NOT PARTIAL
HEAR SEE AND FEEL THE METAL TO THE MAX NOT PARTIAL
AMEN
[guidogodoy] Thursday, January 24, 2013 7:13:00 PM
The pilot of a small freight plane was getting complacent on his phraseology. Every weekday at 2:15 a.m. when stopped at a small airport, he would check in with: "good morning, Jones Field, guess who?" Well, the controller insisted on proper terminology. He lectured the pilot several times to no avail.
One morning the pilot said his usual: "Jones Field, guess who?" The controller then proptly turned off all the airport lights and responded: "Jones Field, guess where?"
From then on, the pilot used proper flight terminology.
[Tyrant] Monday, January 14, 2013 6:42:51 AM
Quick joke.........
Chuck Norris, what a joke!
Nuff said....
Never turn your back, on the Ripper! T.O.
[Zomby] Wednesday, January 09, 2013 3:51:42 PM
confusious have sex in a fireplace is fucking grate
[Stratovarius217] Sunday, July 08, 2012 3:21:54 PM
What kind of cologne does Halford wear ? .......ENGLISH LEATHER !
[METALMANJP] Friday, September 30, 2011 8:54:17 AM
What kind of cologne does Halford wear ? .......ENGLISH LEATHER !
[metalgodess] Wednesday, September 07, 2011 5:01:00 PM
What would George Washington do if he were alive today?
Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.
[metalgodess] Wednesday, September 07, 2011 4:58:04 PM
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
~ This and many other twisted gems can be found on Anti-joke.com - some very sick and funny stuff. Not for the easily offended. ~
[winged singer] Wednesday, September 07, 2011 4:34:48 PM
What's the difference between a wizard's wand and a policeman's baton?
One is good for cunning stunts........... Edited at: Wednesday, September 07, 2011 4:38:08 PM
[_strat_] Sunday, July 24, 2011 3:03:18 PM
Religions of the world
Taoism - Shit happens
Hare Krishna - Shit happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding
Hinduism - This shit happened before
Islam - If shit happens, take a hostage
Zen - What is the sound of shit happening?
Buddhism - When shit happens, is it really shit?
Confucianism - Confucius say: "Shit happens."
Protestantism - Shit wont happen, if I work harder.
Catholicism - If shit happens, I deserve it.
Jehowahs Witness- Knock, knock, "shit happens".
Mormon - Shit happens again and again and again...
Judaism - Why does this shit always happen to me?
Rastafarianism - Lets smoke this shit!
There, and now my own:
Atheism - I cant believe this shit!
[METALMANJP] Wednesday, March 02, 2011 8:41:39 AM
A female employee goes to the human rescource dept to file a sexual harassment suit. She tells the manager "everyday when I am at the coffee machine this employee comes up and smells the air and say's "God your hair smells good". The manager say's I don't think that constitutes a sexual harassment suit. The female employee replies "Yea but it's Keith the midget !"
[metalgodess] Tuesday, March 01, 2011 4:50:15 PM
There's a lovely social going on at the nursing home. Many of the residents are enjoying the dancing and socializing. One particularly vivacious older gal sees a gentleman in his 80's sitting quietly by himself, and saunters over to him.
"Hiya handsome," she says. She leans in and whispers, "I can give you Super Sex."
The old guy thinks for a moment, then answers, "I'll take the soup."
[Necroticist] Wednesday, October 20, 2010 8:46:23 AM
Jokes? yes...Halford 'Made Of Metal' lyrics....honestly....so goddamn lame...prolly written whilst bored on the toilet...is an insult to metal fans worldwide....generic 'give em what they want' CRAP...
