[Deep Freeze] Tuesday, November 04, 2008 6:01:23 AM
Due to yesterday's overwhelming response and clear concern for the plight of the seal, I have found the young petitioner that I sent away over the weekend and signed his petition. I am told that my endorsement will most certainly result in newer and more "flipper-friendly" accomodations for the aforementioned "clubbing seals".
The outpouring of emotion regarding the nightlife of these sea-faring mammals has made me re-evaluate my position with respect to their inalienable right to "club" and the facilities with which they are provided to do so. I had absolutely no idea that there were so many of you that shared this great desire to see that our nation's aquatic life have decent places in which to commune here in the desert, where they apparently thrive.
The Las Vegas "seal clubbing" scene is rather obscure, so I have found. I had no idea they were so desperately in need of places here in the valley. I sincerely hope that, by sigining this petition, we can get past this most serious of problems and move on to other, more pressing needs. The plight of the Las Vegas, sex-starved, opium- dependent aardvark.
