It's funny, all this talk about kids and their behavior. Sometimes I think we, as parents, try to project ourselves and our childhood on our children. We often forget that there has been a remarkable social evolution in our society which has, of course, affected values. I suppose it happens to each generation. Having said this, there is a constant that remains and THAT would be what we call "doing the right thing".
I recall my youth. Working for money to buy the things my parents did not give me was just what we did. My grandparents owned a small cafe and I worked there every summer. More importantly, there was school. In our family, there was NEVER any discussion as to whether or not you went to college. It wasn't optional. You finished high school and you went to college. That was that. It is difficult for me to imagine a childhood wherein I would be thinking about a full time job and "being on my own" as a teenager. School was all there was. Nonetheless, my parents made sure that I "did the right thing". What does that mean, exactly?
We all know that, when one commits a crime, one pays a price. There is consequence for action. In life, there is also consequence for inaction. The reckoning may come slower, but it does come. Far too many parents feel that it is their "job" to continually support their children. By support, I mean financial. I mean a place to live. I mean feeding them. All of which, at some point, should come to an end. As a child, the right thing means learning to be an adult. We all learn how to be treated. Children learn this from their parents. Those that are coddled, given money, sheltered from responsibility and whatnot learn dependancy. Parents think they are doing the child a favor, but they are sadly mistaken. There comes a point were a parent must realize that "helping" is actually enabling.
One of the most difficult things for a parent to do is to let go. Refuse to keep "helping". If a child has spent his/her lifetime learning dependancy, this moment is all the more difficult. If a child has learned that work and responsibility are keys to adulthood, it is less difficult. Doing the right thing. What a concept! |
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