I have remained silent on this one up to now but I figure I will go ahead and add my thoughts....
Clearly this is not a gender issue. Not being familiar with either of you makes it difficult to say exactly what went wrong but there is no good reason to treat another human being in such a way. Male or female. There is still something called "common decency" and it would seem your male friend seriously lacks that. Moreover, there is the responsibility of men to act in a gentlemanly manner (Sorry strat, MY opinion!).
It is so hard to really know a person. Even though you spend time with them and think you know them, things happen. People change. Events cause people to act in ways they might not normally act. Who's to say? I do know this; the rules of deceny apply regardless. Treating someone with respect is the key. I also truly believe that we, as humans, simply cannot live our lives in a "guarded" state..., afraid to love or allow someone to get close. We need that closeness. It is part of what we are. We are social creatures. Are there exceptions? Sure. But , by and large, we all need to be needed and loved and desired.
I have been hurt. I have hurt others. Life goes on. I have vowed never to love again, only to find myself head over heels in love when I least expected it. Such is life, my friends. I cannot accept that it is better to live one's life in a state of constant vigilance and denial. I just can't. There is far too much to be gained by living the joy and fufillment of a truly loving relationship. They are out there. You cannot give up. The pain will not last.
