I have read everyone's responses to me, and wish to thank all of you for your thoughts on this, and your kindness to me.
The fact that he has fallen for someone else is very painful for me, but at least if he had been honest with me from the start, I could have at least maybe accepted that he had some respect for me. Its the lies, leading me on, and seeing her behind my back which is the real kick in the teeth, and why I feel so humiliated and used. I really thought he at least cared about me, and thats what hurts most of all. He just seemed to care only about himself, and what he wanted, never stopped to think about what he was doing to me. I was so close to him, as a friend even before I developed romantic feelings towards him. I can't believe he has done this to me, and treated me so terribly. Though I hate him for what he's done, part of me still loves him, and the thought of him with this other girl is tearing me up inside. I saw my future with him, and he led me to believe that I was his future as well. I dont know if I can forgive him, and even if that is something I need to do to help with the healing process. I am still hurting terribly, and just wish the pain would go away, and that I could stop feeling for him. I feel lost, and am totally empty inside. I probably need to grieve, not just for my feelings, but for the lost friendship, and the loss of the man I once knew. I probably need to accept that the him I fell in love with, never really existed. Part of me doesnt want to admit that, but I think I can only get over this, if I face up to the brutal truth of the matter. He just sees this girl as a better catch, and thats all there is to it. Everything he used to try and justify it, were just excuses, and didnt even make any logical sense, at least not if he felt for me as much as he claimed. The day after he told me, I woke up, and wished that the previous night was just a bad dream, and he didnt really dump me. I guess all I can do, is give it time, and hope the pain subsides. Though right now, it feels like it will never go away :(
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