Dio Interview

Dio’s website calls him “the grand wizard of classic rock”. He’s been recording since 1958, and first achieved recognition with his band Elf, who supported Deep Purple in 1972. He then joined Rainbow, and sang with Black Sabbath after Ozzy Osbourne was kicked out.

In 1983 he released his first solo album, Holy Diver, the title track of which was recently covered by the metalcore band Killswitch Engage. He currently fronts Heaven And Hell, a return to the Black Sabbath line-up he was part of.

Do you collect anything weird?
Frogs. I was in Cornwall in 1975 and discovered a little shop, and inside there was a frog playing guitar, and I just couldn’t help myself. I started to collect frogs, and I have a lot of people who care about me and give them to me. I have a frog with a large phallic member with a teacup on it.
 
Do you believe in ghosts?
When I was in Rainbow, we were at a place called the Château, north of Paris. There wasn’t a lot to do other than record, so one day we had a séance. We contacted this woman named Sarah who kept saying nothing but, “Kill Thomas, kill Thomas, kill Thomas”. This went on for a week.

So we asked Sarah some questions, and found out Thomas was her son, who she wanted us to kill because he killed her, in childbirth. We asked if we could talk to someone else and the glass started to go everywhere. It said: “I am Baal. I create chaos. You will never finish this project.” It got a lot more involved than that. That’s the tip of the iceberg.
 
What’s the closest you’ve come to death?
An automobile accident in the early days of Elf. Our driver was killed, as well as my best friend and lead guitar player. I went through the windscreen and then back, ripped a part of my scalp off, broke a leg and broke an arm.

One of the guitar players in the back hit his face on the engine and had 16 stitches near his eye, and one almost had his legs amputated… it just went on and on. Just a horrible experience.

Do you have any recurring dreams?
I have nightmares on the road – I guess that’s just the stress of being in different places and having a different diet. The worst one was waking up in a bus and seeing all the people who’ve died before me and someone saying: “Don’t worry, you’ll be with us soon.”

Have you ever had a crush on someone that most people would think was gross?
Sophia Loren’s lower lip. I always just thought she had a magnificent lower lip.

What does your orgasm face look like?
I don’t know… I don’t think I’ve ever really looked! Probably white and sticky.

Have you ever seen any quirky genitalia?
I had a guitar player who had a crooked cock. It was hard to miss; I guess he was proud of it. Sometimes we had to pee together and you know, you check it out.

I thought you weren’t meant to!
Yeah, you can sneak a peek! You can look and go, “Holy, look at the size…” and then tell your friends, “Some guy was in the toilet with a knob like a bell!” But you don’t give it a stare, for sure.

What’s the oddest thing you’ve eaten?
I don’t eat vegetables, because I can’t stand the sliminess – like green beans. Or anything that looks like it’s got something still growing inside it. I do eat potatoes, they’re like a quasi-vegetable; and I’ll eat tomatoes as long as they’re crushed up in a sauce. Other than that, I only eat meat. So, kangaroo.

What’s the strangest thing a fan’s ever sent to you?
I can name almost all the frogs. The strangest things are books of the dead – but I figure that’d be expected.

What’s the strangest thing in your house?
Aside from myself? Sometimes you collect so many things they start cohabitating. I’m looking at a frog, and next to the frog is a wolf, and then there’s another frog who’s playing the saxophone, and next to him is a gargoyle on a candlestick, and next to him is Henry VIII. And I have some really beautiful crosses.

What’s the biggest animal you’ve killed?
A squirrel, accidentally. I love animals. I’ve always had dogs and cats. They put things in perspective: I see how wonderfully made they are and how flawed we are.
 
And now, the classic Bizarre challenge: choose between coprophilia, necrophilia and bestiality and explain your decision.
If I had to choose, bestiality. I certainly don’t want to screw any dead people and I don’t want to eat shit; at least there’s some kind of sexualness going on in the other one that I can get a live perspective on, anyway.
 
Which animal?
A spider. A black widow, of course!
 
What would go through your head when it started to eat you after sex?
“Ouch” is the first thing I’d say, and “stop” would be next, and “Oh my God” – you know, the usual epithets hurled out when these things happen, when you get eaten by a spider.
 
Do you think the sex would be good?
Probably not.