OH MIRACLES OF MIRACLES!! You guessed it! After countless hours of research, calling and pleading ... I found a beekeeper who was actually willing to help.
Just now got off the phone with him saying that he came by when I wasn't home (loved Calvin, lol) and will bring over a hive in the next few days to draw them out. It'll be there for weeks to a month, be clamped to my house but I don't freakin' care! I'd be willing to hold it up myself for a month at this point.
