| [METALMANJP] Friday, April 10, 2009 8:25:24 AM | |
|
Back to my roots !
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by spapad from Thursday, April 09, 2009 6:07:16 PM)| |  | spapad wrote: | | That's OK MMJP! you may have got side tracked but, but your still a life long fan!
| | | METALMANJP wrote: | | Forgive me Priest fans for I have sinned.
I have to admit something, I kinda gave up on Priest back when Halford left the band . I didn't start listening to them from that time until just before Nostradamus was released. I've never heard any of the ripper alblums and I've never heard Angel of Retribution !
I feel better now that I got that off my chest !
|
|
|
|
| [spapad] Thursday, April 09, 2009 6:07:16 PM | |
|
That's OK MMJP! you may have got side tracked but, but your still a life long fan!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by METALMANJP from Thursday, April 09, 2009 8:41:23 AM)| | | METALMANJP wrote: | | Forgive me Priest fans for I have sinned.
I have to admit something, I kinda gave up on Priest back when Halford left the band . I didn't start listening to them from that time until just before Nostradamus was released. I've never heard any of the ripper alblums and I've never heard Angel of Retribution !
I feel better now that I got that off my chest !
|
|
|
| [METALMANJP] Thursday, April 09, 2009 8:41:23 AM | |
|
Forgive me Priest fans for I have sinned.
I have to admit something, I kinda gave up on Priest back when Halford left the band . I didn't start listening to them from that time until just before Nostradamus was released. I've never heard any of the ripper alblums and I've never heard Angel of Retribution !
I feel better now that I got that off my chest !
|
|
| [J.D. DIAMOND] Tuesday, March 10, 2009 12:29:26 AM | |
|
Thank you Ron,and it does help hearing opinions from experienced parents as yourself.Thanks for all the advise bro,you rock!! As you and Deep Freeze have told me...I guess if I didn't care...I would never feel as if I've "failed".
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Monday, March 09, 2009 6:29:44 PM)| | | ronhartsell wrote: | | ...lol...that's funny JD...hey man, I'm just a parent and a Priestfan and a hard worker like anyone else here...I do tend to be a little (over) passionate when it comes to those 3 things, but they're all I've got...best of luck to you, mate!! 
| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks ronhartsell,I won't lose the faith and never give up!! Hey,..I remember I was starting to get afraid of you ronhartsell!! lol! Thanks for the input my friend!
| | | ronhartsell wrote: | | JD...you're going to be fine...you have an eye on what's going on and that's more than a lot of parents these days...I haven't always lived with my kids, and at their ages I never will again (unless something tragic happens), and it's a tough situation to be in, no doubt...but you have never given up and that's a testament to your love for him...and your love for him is what makes the pain hurt even worse...I don't remember if you mentioned his age or not, but as any parent would say, as long as you two are drawing breath it's never too late...he's got your blood in his veins, so some of your smarts has made it as well...it's a never ending journey my friend, don't lose the faith!!!
| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze,I appreciate that. I understand that I'm on the right track and as Head Banger said there is no instruction manual,its still kinda therapeutic to hear advice from others..... especially your advise Freeze.
| | | Deep Freeze wrote: | | ...its just frustrating at times ya know?
Yes, my friend. I do know. It is frustrating, annoying, painful, frightening, confusing, tedious and so on. But they are our children and we love them. There is nothing you can do about it. I am proud of you, JD. Stay strong. Be a good dad and lead the way........ by always doing the right thing.
| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze and thank you too Bev. Head banger,I hear your point of view as well. Yes... I suppose your right Freeze,well...I know your right.And as you know I've never givin up and I am doing the right thing but why does it still feel sometimes as if I failed? It seems that if I could turn back time a few notches I could of done something else differently but when I go to think of what....there is nothing,I did do everything I could at that time...its just frustrating at times ya know?
(Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:30:25 AM)
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing.
| |
|
J.D. DIAMOND wrote: |
| |
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| |
|
Bev wrote: |
| |
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
Edited at: Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:33 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| [ron h] Monday, March 09, 2009 6:29:44 PM | |
|
...lol...that's funny JD...hey man, I'm just a parent and a Priestfan and a hard worker like anyone else here...I do tend to be a little (over) passionate when it comes to those 3 things, but they're all I've got...best of luck to you, mate!!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by J.D. DIAMOND from Monday, March 09, 2009 6:18:39 AM)| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks ronhartsell,I won't lose the faith and never give up!! Hey,..I remember I was starting to get afraid of you ronhartsell!! lol! Thanks for the input my friend!
| | | ronhartsell wrote: | | JD...you're going to be fine...you have an eye on what's going on and that's more than a lot of parents these days...I haven't always lived with my kids, and at their ages I never will again (unless something tragic happens), and it's a tough situation to be in, no doubt...but you have never given up and that's a testament to your love for him...and your love for him is what makes the pain hurt even worse...I don't remember if you mentioned his age or not, but as any parent would say, as long as you two are drawing breath it's never too late...he's got your blood in his veins, so some of your smarts has made it as well...it's a never ending journey my friend, don't lose the faith!!!
| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze,I appreciate that. I understand that I'm on the right track and as Head Banger said there is no instruction manual,its still kinda therapeutic to hear advice from others..... especially your advise Freeze.
| | | Deep Freeze wrote: | | ...its just frustrating at times ya know?
Yes, my friend. I do know. It is frustrating, annoying, painful, frightening, confusing, tedious and so on. But they are our children and we love them. There is nothing you can do about it. I am proud of you, JD. Stay strong. Be a good dad and lead the way........ by always doing the right thing.
| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze and thank you too Bev. Head banger,I hear your point of view as well. Yes... I suppose your right Freeze,well...I know your right.And as you know I've never givin up and I am doing the right thing but why does it still feel sometimes as if I failed? It seems that if I could turn back time a few notches I could of done something else differently but when I go to think of what....there is nothing,I did do everything I could at that time...its just frustrating at times ya know?
(Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:30:25 AM)
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing.
| |
|
J.D. DIAMOND wrote: |
| |
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| |
|
Bev wrote: |
| |
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
Edited at: Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:33 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| [J.D. DIAMOND] Monday, March 09, 2009 6:18:39 AM | |
|
Thanks ronhartsell,I won't lose the faith and never give up!! Hey,..I remember I was starting to get afraid of you ronhartsell!! lol! Thanks for the input my friend!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Monday, March 09, 2009 4:43:59 AM)| | | ronhartsell wrote: | | JD...you're going to be fine...you have an eye on what's going on and that's more than a lot of parents these days...I haven't always lived with my kids, and at their ages I never will again (unless something tragic happens), and it's a tough situation to be in, no doubt...but you have never given up and that's a testament to your love for him...and your love for him is what makes the pain hurt even worse...I don't remember if you mentioned his age or not, but as any parent would say, as long as you two are drawing breath it's never too late...he's got your blood in his veins, so some of your smarts has made it as well...it's a never ending journey my friend, don't lose the faith!!!
| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze,I appreciate that. I understand that I'm on the right track and as Head Banger said there is no instruction manual,its still kinda therapeutic to hear advice from others..... especially your advise Freeze.
| | | Deep Freeze wrote: | | ...its just frustrating at times ya know?
Yes, my friend. I do know. It is frustrating, annoying, painful, frightening, confusing, tedious and so on. But they are our children and we love them. There is nothing you can do about it. I am proud of you, JD. Stay strong. Be a good dad and lead the way........ by always doing the right thing.
| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze and thank you too Bev. Head banger,I hear your point of view as well. Yes... I suppose your right Freeze,well...I know your right.And as you know I've never givin up and I am doing the right thing but why does it still feel sometimes as if I failed? It seems that if I could turn back time a few notches I could of done something else differently but when I go to think of what....there is nothing,I did do everything I could at that time...its just frustrating at times ya know?
(Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:30:25 AM)
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing.
| |
|
J.D. DIAMOND wrote: |
| |
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| |
|
Bev wrote: |
| |
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
Edited at: Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:33 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
| [Return_of_Darth_Painkiller_0870] Monday, March 09, 2009 4:55:05 AM | |
|
| I'm glad my kids are still young. Skimming through the previous posts from this weekend show me that I've got it good right now! |
|
| [ron h] Monday, March 09, 2009 4:43:59 AM | |
|
JD...you're going to be fine...you have an eye on what's going on and that's more than a lot of parents these days...I haven't always lived with my kids, and at their ages I never will again (unless something tragic happens), and it's a tough situation to be in, no doubt...but you have never given up and that's a testament to your love for him...and your love for him is what makes the pain hurt even worse...I don't remember if you mentioned his age or not, but as any parent would say, as long as you two are drawing breath it's never too late...he's got your blood in his veins, so some of your smarts has made it as well...it's a never ending journey my friend, don't lose the faith!!!
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by J.D. DIAMOND from Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:56:02 PM)| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze,I appreciate that. I understand that I'm on the right track and as Head Banger said there is no instruction manual,its still kinda therapeutic to hear advice from others..... especially your advise Freeze.
| | | Deep Freeze wrote: | | ...its just frustrating at times ya know?
Yes, my friend. I do know. It is frustrating, annoying, painful, frightening, confusing, tedious and so on. But they are our children and we love them. There is nothing you can do about it. I am proud of you, JD. Stay strong. Be a good dad and lead the way........ by always doing the right thing.
| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze and thank you too Bev. Head banger,I hear your point of view as well. Yes... I suppose your right Freeze,well...I know your right.And as you know I've never givin up and I am doing the right thing but why does it still feel sometimes as if I failed? It seems that if I could turn back time a few notches I could of done something else differently but when I go to think of what....there is nothing,I did do everything I could at that time...its just frustrating at times ya know?
(Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:30:25 AM)
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing.
| |
|
J.D. DIAMOND wrote: |
| |
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| |
|
Bev wrote: |
| |
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
Edited at: Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:33 PM |
|
|
|
|
| [J.D. DIAMOND] Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:56:02 PM | |
|
Thanks Freeze,I appreciate that. I understand that I'm on the right track and as Head Banger said there is no instruction manual,its still kinda therapeutic to hear advice from others..... especially your advise Freeze.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Sunday, March 08, 2009 8:50:46 PM)| | | Deep Freeze wrote: | | ...its just frustrating at times ya know?
Yes, my friend. I do know. It is frustrating, annoying, painful, frightening, confusing, tedious and so on. But they are our children and we love them. There is nothing you can do about it. I am proud of you, JD. Stay strong. Be a good dad and lead the way........ by always doing the right thing.
| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze and thank you too Bev. Head banger,I hear your point of view as well. Yes... I suppose your right Freeze,well...I know your right.And as you know I've never givin up and I am doing the right thing but why does it still feel sometimes as if I failed? It seems that if I could turn back time a few notches I could of done something else differently but when I go to think of what....there is nothing,I did do everything I could at that time...its just frustrating at times ya know?
(Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:30:25 AM)
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing.
| |
|
J.D. DIAMOND wrote: |
| |
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| |
|
Bev wrote: |
| |
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
Edited at: Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:33 PM |
|
|
|
| [Deep Freeze] Sunday, March 08, 2009 8:50:46 PM | |
|
...its just frustrating at times ya know?
Yes, my friend. I do know. It is frustrating, annoying, painful, frightening, confusing, tedious and so on. But they are our children and we love them. There is nothing you can do about it. I am proud of you, JD. Stay strong. Be a good dad and lead the way........ by always doing the right thing.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by J.D. DIAMOND from Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:08 PM)| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze and thank you too Bev. Head banger,I hear your point of view as well. Yes... I suppose your right Freeze,well...I know your right.And as you know I've never givin up and I am doing the right thing but why does it still feel sometimes as if I failed? It seems that if I could turn back time a few notches I could of done something else differently but when I go to think of what....there is nothing,I did do everything I could at that time...its just frustrating at times ya know?
(Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:30:25 AM)
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing.
| |
|
J.D. DIAMOND wrote: |
| |
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| |
|
Bev wrote: |
| |
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
Edited at: Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:33 PM |
|
|
| [Head banger] Sunday, March 08, 2009 8:47:04 PM | |
|
you can only do the best you can do. life does not come with an instruction manual. make it up as you go along, and learn. frustrating as all get out most of the time
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by J.D. DIAMOND from Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:08 PM)| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Thanks Freeze and thank you too Bev. Head banger,I hear your point of view as well. Yes... I suppose your right Freeze,well...I know your right.And as you know I've never givin up and I am doing the right thing but why does it still feel sometimes as if I failed? It seems that if I could turn back time a few notches I could of done something else differently but when I go to think of what....there is nothing,I did do everything I could at that time...its just frustrating at times ya know?
(Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:30:25 AM)
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing.
| |
|
J.D. DIAMOND wrote: |
| |
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| |
|
Bev wrote: |
| |
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
Edited at: Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:33 PM |
|
|
| [J.D. DIAMOND] Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:08 PM | |
|
Thanks Freeze and thank you too Bev. Head banger,I hear your point of view as well. Yes... I suppose your right Freeze,well...I know your right.And as you know I've never givin up and I am doing the right thing but why does it still feel sometimes as if I failed? It seems that if I could turn back time a few notches I could of done something else differently but when I go to think of what....there is nothing,I did do everything I could at that time...its just frustrating at times ya know?
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:30:25 AM)
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing.
| |
|
J.D. DIAMOND wrote: |
| |
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| |
|
Bev wrote: |
| |
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
Edited at: Sunday, March 08, 2009 4:48:33 PM |
|
| [Head banger] Sunday, March 08, 2009 10:15:42 AM | |
|
your right, people dont expect actual work. manual labour?? nope. might have more than 40 hours a week. nope. no AC, nope. drink tap water? nope
I think that a lot of people are in line for a serious wake up.
you worked, to suport school. when your out of school, you will work again. nothing at all wrong with that.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Vaillant 3.0 from Friday, March 06, 2009 10:14:07 PM)| | | Vaillant 3.0 wrote: | | Ooookkkaaaaayyyyyy...Looks like I'll have to do a double-confession:
1). No, I don't have a job right now... I'm in college now and living off Federal Student Aid... slaughter me if you wish...
2). HOWEVER!!! I did have a summer job last year...which was working at an amusement park called Knott's Berry Farm...operating kiddie rides... 
While it was fun operating the control panel of several rides, the hours were a bit exhausting (12 hrs a day, six days a week), but at least I decided to stay and give it a go for the season, unlike other trainees who would walk out after only half a day's worth of work. All the rides were outdoors, so I was pretty much washing my work uniform everyday because I would sweat so much. Had to quit though, since this amusement park was in one region in the state and my college is 500 miles away. Still, it felt good getting that envelope from the Payroll office every Friday and looking at what was achieved in the long run: money, of course! For food and other small necessities during the school year.
I know I'll probably sound like a hypocrite, but I think the problem with my generation is that most imagine a job as having something to do with being in an office or something else less laborous, which is why many of us are in college in the first place, along with making parents proud. We're a bunch of softies, in other words. |
|
|
| [Deep Freeze] Sunday, March 08, 2009 9:30:25 AM | |
|
You're right, Bev. JD, this is another common mistake. YOU are not at fault here and it is not YOU that is failing!!! There is no shame in admitting that you have tried and it is not working. In fact, the only shame is in "giving up". NEVER stop trying, my friend. That does not mean you have to give him money or anything else! It means you demonstrate how to be a man. You stand up and say, "NO MORE." You go to work. You pay your bills. You are there if he needs advice. You do the right thing.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by J.D. DIAMOND from Saturday, March 07, 2009 7:18:09 PM)| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| | | Deep Freeze wrote: | | Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| | | Bev wrote: | | Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
|
| [Bev] Saturday, March 07, 2009 8:58:17 PM | |
|
That will be enough of that ... Does your gut tell you you have failed as a parent? Or are you judging yourself by someone else's standards (which I find hard to believe)? Stop it now, JD! Kids sense this forboding feeling of failure as a weakness and will feed off it like noone's business. Do you see the passion you inspire in the young men here?!? Failure ... that's bullshit - Someone stop me ...
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by J.D. DIAMOND from Saturday, March 07, 2009 7:18:09 PM)| | | J.D. DIAMOND wrote: | | Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| | | Deep Freeze wrote: | | Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| | | Bev wrote: | | Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
|
| [spapad] Saturday, March 07, 2009 7:27:16 PM | |
|
| |
|
J.D. DIAMOND wrote: |
| |
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
| |
|
Deep Freeze wrote: |
| |
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| |
|
Bev wrote: |
| |
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
Edited at: Saturday, March 07, 2009 7:33:13 PM
Edited at: Saturday, March 07, 2009 7:55:11 PM |
|
| [J.D. DIAMOND] Saturday, March 07, 2009 7:18:09 PM | |
|
Your absolutely right Freeze and you as well ronhartsell.I feel I have "failed" as a parent,and maybe I have beings my kid did'nt live with me even though I was around almost every weekend till he was 13. It doesn't matter it's not the same.But you do have to "let go" and let them make thier own mistakes especially if they will not listen.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Saturday, March 07, 2009 11:30:20 AM)| | | Deep Freeze wrote: | | Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
| | | Bev wrote: | | Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
|
| [Deep Freeze] Saturday, March 07, 2009 11:30:20 AM | |
|
Oh, absolutely Bev! How about the parent that was "never there"? The parent that chose drugs or alcohol and divorced the spouse to pursue a life of decadence? Sure. One day, he or she finds an opportuntiy to re-introduce into the child's life and over compensates by allowing the kid anything! But, you see, THIS is on the parent! This is what parenting really is! One must overcome one's inate sense of self and think of the child. A most arduous prospect, I'm afraid. Far too easy to try to live vicariously through an offspriing.
I realize it is not a black and white issue. Each child is different and really the only reason I have spoke up is because I care about JD and his struggle. Clearly, it is of great importance to him, as he has been posting about it now on a regular basis. I feel for him. I know with what he is dealing. The Princess has many of the same problems with her two boys. I see the pain. The difficulties. It is hard. Most all of you know that I have a daughter but she is grown and has her own family. I do not think I could do what she does with those young boys. My patience is just not that strong.
[Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Bev from Saturday, March 07, 2009 11:07:02 AM)| | | Bev wrote: | | Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
|
| [_strat_] Saturday, March 07, 2009 11:23:50 AM | |
|
| Anti social? James Dean? Britney Spears is more anti social than him... Or maybe you thought James Dean after the crash? |
|
| [Bev] Saturday, March 07, 2009 11:07:02 AM | |
|
Here is something to consider: Could it be that sometimes we as parents try to over compensate - where one's own parents may have been authoritarian we take an altogether passive approach or vice versa?
Thank goodness I have an aquarian for a son, He is very self-assured (in a good way) and independent, I have to consciously remind myself that he is only 15. I am confident that if I left here tomorrow, he is very capable of taking care of himself ... (not planning anything, but you never know).
On that note, got a teen that wants to download some more aircraft for his FS!
Later all ... |
|
