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[Bev] Saturday, March 07, 2009 6:38:39 AM
Found it: one more then I'm off for the day ... Cheers (sorry 'bout the text; I tried - lol)
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap ... The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
Edited at: Saturday, March 07, 2009 6:41:11 AM
[Bev] Saturday, March 07, 2009 5:43:50 AM
Mission accomplished! ... but wait, don't go, there's more - LOL (j/k - psych!!!) [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by ronhartsell from Saturday, March 07, 2009 5:35:53 AM)
ronhartsell wrote:
Dammit Bev, you're gonna make me wake the house up from lmao!!!
Bev wrote:
John and the Blonde ...
John walked into a sports bar at 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on.
The news crew was covering a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at John and asked, "Do you think he'll jump?"
John says, "You know, I'll bet he jumps."
The blonde says, "Well, I bet he won't"
John placed a twenty on the bar and says, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar the guy takes a swan dive off the ledge of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset but willingly handed over the $20 saying, "Fair is Fair."
John replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news. I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I saw it too; but I didn't think he'd do it again!"
John took the money ...
[ron h] Saturday, March 07, 2009 5:35:53 AM
Dammit Bev, you're gonna make me wake the house up from lmao!!! [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by Bev from Saturday, March 07, 2009 5:31:33 AM)
Bev wrote:
John and the Blonde ...
John walked into a sports bar at 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on.
The news crew was covering a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at John and asked, "Do you think he'll jump?"
John says, "You know, I'll bet he jumps."
The blonde says, "Well, I bet he won't"
John placed a twenty on the bar and says, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar the guy takes a swan dive off the ledge of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset but willingly handed over the $20 saying, "Fair is Fair."
John replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news. I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I saw it too; but I didn't think he'd do it again!"
John took the money ...
[Bev] Saturday, March 07, 2009 5:31:33 AM
John and the Blonde ...
John walked into a sports bar at 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on.
The news crew was covering a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at John and asked, "Do you think he'll jump?"
John says, "You know, I'll bet he jumps."
The blonde says, "Well, I bet he won't"
John placed a twenty on the bar and says, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar the guy takes a swan dive off the ledge of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset but willingly handed over the $20 saying, "Fair is Fair."
John replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news. I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I saw it too; but I didn't think he'd do it again!"
John took the money ...
[Bev] Saturday, March 07, 2009 5:21:15 AM
Single vs. Engaged vs. Married ...
Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the
end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat.
When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a
leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we
made passionate love on his desk right then and there!"
The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When
my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black
mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on
that we not only had sex all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!"
The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of
planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's.
I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume.
I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask.
When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman,what's for dinner?'" Edited at: Saturday, March 07, 2009 5:22:31 AM
[_strat_] Friday, March 06, 2009 4:37:05 PM
Maybe in Silmarillion, IDK... I guess that those who want to see it will see Catholicism in a tea spoon.
In any case, the guy was kidding, and I havent even realised it till I went over it again, and read the disclaimer at the end. Pretty funny stuff, tho, considering that it isnt serious. Then it would be just dumb.
I think some people claim there is Christian imagery in Tolkien, or maybe I'm getting it confused with Chronicles of Narnia... I dunno
_strat_ wrote:
WTF?!?!?! Lol... Well, I listened to Nightfall in Middle Earth through and through (my favourite album, as it happens), and couldnt find a reference to Catholicism. Elves, orcs and dwarfs galore, but no Catholics...
No words necessary- just... Edited at: Thursday, March 05, 2009 3:24:43 PM
[Head banger] Friday, March 06, 2009 12:52:51 PM
I think that christians see negative things in both. of course, if you look hard enough, you can find negativity in anything. [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by kiamat from Friday, March 06, 2009 11:50:46 AM)
kiamat wrote:
I think some people claim there is Christian imagery in Tolkien, or maybe I'm getting it confused with Chronicles of Narnia... I dunno
_strat_ wrote:
WTF?!?!?! Lol... Well, I listened to Nightfall in Middle Earth through and through (my favourite album, as it happens), and couldnt find a reference to Catholicism. Elves, orcs and dwarfs galore, but no Catholics...
No words necessary- just... Edited at: Thursday, March 05, 2009 3:24:43 PM
[kiamat] Friday, March 06, 2009 11:50:46 AM
I think some people claim there is Christian imagery in Tolkien, or maybe I'm getting it confused with Chronicles of Narnia... I dunno [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by _strat_ from Thursday, March 05, 2009 4:14:02 PM)
_strat_ wrote:
WTF?!?!?! Lol... Well, I listened to Nightfall in Middle Earth through and through (my favourite album, as it happens), and couldnt find a reference to Catholicism. Elves, orcs and dwarfs galore, but no Catholics...
No words necessary- just... Edited at: Thursday, March 05, 2009 3:24:43 PM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Thursday, March 05, 2009 7:38:26 PM
ROFL...........
~MG~ ( who else would post something like that!! LOL)
[_strat_] Thursday, March 05, 2009 4:14:02 PM
WTF?!?!?! Lol... Well, I listened to Nightfall in Middle Earth through and through (my favourite album, as it happens), and couldnt find a reference to Catholicism. Elves, orcs and dwarfs galore, but no Catholics... [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by kiamat from Thursday, March 05, 2009 3:23:01 PM)
No words necessary- just... Edited at: Thursday, March 05, 2009 3:24:43 PM
[_strat_] Thursday, March 05, 2009 4:09:43 PM
Yup. Nice muscles, eh? Like Michelangelo himself painted them. [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by kiamat from Thursday, March 05, 2009 3:25:24 PM)
Can't figure out how to post the vid, but check it out, this is hilarious.. www.youtube.com/watch
[kiamat] Saturday, February 28, 2009 4:03:12 PM
Can't figure out how to post the vid, but check it out, this is hilarious.. www.youtube.com/watch
[adrianaec_88] Wednesday, February 25, 2009 8:50:23 PM
this is what I want to do if I get the job ROFL
[Bev] Wednesday, February 25, 2009 7:08:25 PM
(disclaimer ... Ron, BazookaJoe ... I am not the husband in this joke ... ) LOL
My wife and I were sitting at our table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunk lady swinging her drink as she sat alone at a table nearby.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes" I signed, "She's my old girlfriend. I heard she took to drinking after we split up all those years ago. I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long!!!"
... and then the fight started
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" while we were in bed.
I turned to her and asked, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No" she answered.
Then I said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time and said, "Yes!"
So I said, "Then, can I call a friend?"
... and then the fight started
[_strat_] Wednesday, February 25, 2009 2:54:50 PM
DO NOT BELIEVE THE LIBERALY BIASED MOVIE INDUSTRY!!! Heres how it REALLY was:
[_strat_] Sunday, February 15, 2009 8:06:38 AM
Lol... Uncyclopedia - the well of sick, disturbing shit... Yet funny as hell.
My personal favourite is the screen-full of errors. And that "Attempting to give a damn" thingy.
LMAO!!! I want Windaz!!!! how to fuck around with the settings LOL (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Monday, February 09, 2009 4:12:00 PM)
_strat_ wrote:
Also, Microsoft has released "Windaz", the special version for Ausies. Here are some of the new features:
Edited at: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 7:47:43 PM
[kiamat] Thursday, February 12, 2009 2:45:46 PM
Reminds me of Northern Word (Ayup/Nah/gerr'way wi' ye!)
Oooh, somebody make me stop laughing- bad for my poor rock climbing tortured stomach muscles!
[adrianaec_88] Wednesday, February 11, 2009 7:47:12 PM
LMAO!!! I want Windaz!!!! how to fuck around with the settings LOL [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by _strat_ from Monday, February 09, 2009 4:12:00 PM)
_strat_ wrote:
Also, Microsoft has released "Windaz", the special version for Ausies. Here are some of the new features:
Edited at: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 7:47:43 PM
[_strat_] Monday, February 09, 2009 4:12:00 PM
Also, Microsoft has released "Windaz", the special version for Ausies. Here are some of the new features:
[_strat_] Monday, February 09, 2009 4:08:45 PM
For all ye Windows haters out there:
[_strat_] Monday, January 26, 2009 6:29:47 AM
Advertisement in the newspaper:
"I sell a dog. German doga, 3 years old. Eats everything, loves children."
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn nearperfect.'
And then the fight started.....
[mgdman] Saturday, January 24, 2009 7:25:48 PM
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn nearperfect.'
What's the last thing to go through a bugs mind as it hits your windshield??
[ron h] Friday, January 23, 2009 5:56:33 AM
What's the last thing to go through a bugs mind as it hits your windshield??
[devils_child] Thursday, January 22, 2009 8:52:45 PM
Used?.... Don't you mean Abused?? [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by Soylentgreen4u a.k.a. theWOLFMAN from Thursday, January 22, 2009 8:20:12 PM)
Soylentgreen4u a.k.a. theWOLFMAN wrote:
THE ONLY HOPE FOR YOUR LOVED ONE IS A BRAIN TRANSPLANT...THE DOCTOR INFORMS THE
FAMILY GATHERED IN THE WAITING ROOM...HOW MUCH DOES A BRAIN COST? ASKED A FAMILY MEMBER...THE DOCTOR REPLIES...$10,000 FOR A FEMALE BRAIN,AND $7,000 FOR A MALE BRAIN...WOMEN IN THE ROOM TRIED NOT TO SMILE,BUT SOME ACTUALLY SMIRKED...
A GIRL,UNABLE TO CONTROL HER CURIOUSITY,BLURTED OUT...WHY IS THE FEMALE BRAIN SO MUCH MORE?...THE DOCTOR SMILED AT THE CHILDISH INNOCENCE AND THEN TO THE ENTIRE GROUP SAID...IT'S A STANDARD PRICING PROCEDURE...WE HAVE TO MARK THE MALE BRAINS DOWN....THEY'RE USED....
[Soylentgreen4u] Thursday, January 22, 2009 8:20:12 PM
THE ONLY HOPE FOR YOUR LOVED ONE IS A BRAIN TRANSPLANT...THE DOCTOR INFORMS THE
FAMILY GATHERED IN THE WAITING ROOM...HOW MUCH DOES A BRAIN COST? ASKED A FAMILY MEMBER...THE DOCTOR REPLIES...$10,000 FOR A FEMALE BRAIN,AND $7,000 FOR A MALE BRAIN...WOMEN IN THE ROOM TRIED NOT TO SMILE,BUT SOME ACTUALLY SMIRKED...
A GIRL,UNABLE TO CONTROL HER CURIOUSITY,BLURTED OUT...WHY IS THE FEMALE BRAIN SO MUCH MORE?...THE DOCTOR SMILED AT THE CHILDISH INNOCENCE AND THEN TO THE ENTIRE GROUP SAID...IT'S A STANDARD PRICING PROCEDURE...WE HAVE TO MARK THE MALE BRAINS DOWN....THEY'RE USED....
[Return_of_Darth_Painkiller_0870] Tuesday, January 20, 2009 5:14:10 AM
If you can drink beer, fart and watch NASCAR simultaneously, you might be a redneck!
[kiamat] Monday, January 05, 2009 7:18:27 AM
No, I'm thinking sofa and Sky sports might sum up all of that.
[_strat_] Monday, January 05, 2009 1:26:32 AM
Not to mention remote control operating, proper car parking, and the Chill out center. [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by Soylentgreen4u from Sunday, January 04, 2009 9:17:19 PM)
Soylentgreen4u wrote:
YOU FORGOT SPORTS,TRAMPOLINES AND PADDLES...TO NAME A FEW!...
adrianaec_88 wrote:
ok, according to the latest research this would be the definitive one.... LMAO!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
LOL I had a guy tell me it was wrong... because it was missing ASS.. too LMAO
adrianaec_88 wrote:
lol.. that's funny but come on, we have to be honest, that's not true......... you're lacking some more Tits lines LMAO!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
[Soylentgreen4u] Sunday, January 04, 2009 9:17:19 PM
YOU FORGOT SPORTS,TRAMPOLINES AND PADDLES...TO NAME A FEW!... [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by adrianaec_88 from Sunday, January 04, 2009 9:05:23 PM)
adrianaec_88 wrote:
ok, according to the latest research this would be the definitive one.... LMAO!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
LOL I had a guy tell me it was wrong... because it was missing ASS.. too LMAO
adrianaec_88 wrote:
lol.. that's funny but come on, we have to be honest, that's not true......... you're lacking some more Tits lines LMAO!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Sunday, January 04, 2009 9:12:31 PM
lmao thanks Iam going to send it to him.... Just to piss him off.... LMAO
ok, according to the latest research this would be the definitive one.... LMAO!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
LOL I had a guy tell me it was wrong... because it was missing ASS.. too LMAO
adrianaec_88 wrote:
lol.. that's funny but come on, we have to be honest, that's not true......... you're lacking some more Tits lines LMAO!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
[adrianaec_88] Sunday, January 04, 2009 9:05:23 PM
ok, according to the latest research this would be the definitive one.... LMAO! [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by MG_Metalgoddess from Sunday, January 04, 2009 8:56:21 PM)
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
LOL I had a guy tell me it was wrong... because it was missing ASS.. too LMAO
adrianaec_88 wrote:
lol.. that's funny but come on, we have to be honest, that's not true......... you're lacking some more Tits lines LMAO!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Sunday, January 04, 2009 8:56:21 PM
LOL I had a guy tell me it was wrong... because it was missing ASS.. too LMAO [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by adrianaec_88 from Sunday, January 04, 2009 8:53:24 PM)
adrianaec_88 wrote:
lol.. that's funny but come on, we have to be honest, that's not true......... you're lacking some more Tits lines LMAO!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
[adrianaec_88] Sunday, January 04, 2009 8:53:24 PM
lol.. that's funny but come on, we have to be honest, that's not true......... you're lacking some more Tits lines LMAO! [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by MG_Metalgoddess from Saturday, January 03, 2009 3:46:33 PM)
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
[Head banger] Saturday, January 03, 2009 4:56:25 PM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, January 03, 2009 4:17:08 PM
ROFL............
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, January 03, 2009 3:46:33 PM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, January 03, 2009 3:43:04 PM
[Bev] Friday, January 02, 2009 12:25:50 PM
A Christmas Story for People Having a Bad Day
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven k nows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel stuck on top of the Christmas tree . . . .
[adrianaec_88] Monday, December 29, 2008 7:57:28 PM
LOL!
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Monday, December 29, 2008 6:59:29 PM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Monday, December 29, 2008 6:56:11 PM
This is how I felt after eating christmas dinner...LOL
[adrianaec_88] Wednesday, December 24, 2008 8:39:46 AM
Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!
[SkyRideR] Tuesday, December 23, 2008 6:13:02 PM
whoa...even madonna is dating jesus...
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Tuesday, December 23, 2008 5:05:39 PM
Well Now I know!!!
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 20, 2008 12:58:22 PM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 20, 2008 12:45:10 PM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 20, 2008 12:35:38 PM
[_strat_] Saturday, December 20, 2008 10:37:27 AM
A guy comes into a library with a book that is long overdue. He says to the librarian: " This book is crap. Plenty of characters, but no action!" The librarian then turns to her collegue and says: "I think we finaly got that phone book back".
A drunk stops a taxi near the railway station, and says: "take me to the railway station!" "but we are already there!" Replies the driver. The drunk takes out a 20€ bill out of his pocket and says: "drive more slowly next time".
He has to deliver almost 2,000 million kilos of toys to approximately 842 million houses, using 214,200 reindeer for the weight.
To get to every house he has to travel 220 million miles, requiring a top speed of 9,166,666.7 miles per hour.
To achieve the least friction he would have to travel in the outer reaches of the Earth's atmosphere, coming down for present drop-offs.
Considering that an object such as a meteor falls through the Earth's atmosphere at speeds between 64,800 and 158,400 miles per hour (depending on its position relative to Earths orbit) and that at these speeds they burn up almost instantaneously-
Scientists estimate a survival time of about 1/250th of a second...
Edited at: Thursday, December 18, 2008 6:12:47 AM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Sunday, December 14, 2008 3:50:22 PM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Sunday, December 14, 2008 3:48:57 PM
[_strat_] Monday, December 08, 2008 7:19:18 AM
Not if the wealthy one is really wealthy. [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by Head banger from Monday, December 08, 2008 7:14:21 AM)
Head banger wrote:
4. christ thats a lot of work!!!
_strat_ wrote:
What every man needs in life is a woman that is smart. A woman that is beautifull. A woman that cooks well. A woman that is wealthy.
But most importantly, those four women must not know about one another.
[Head banger] Monday, December 08, 2008 7:14:21 AM
What every man needs in life is a woman that is smart. A woman that is beautifull. A woman that cooks well. A woman that is wealthy.
But most importantly, those four women must not know about one another.
[_strat_] Monday, December 08, 2008 5:16:52 AM
What every man needs in life is a woman that is smart. A woman that is beautifull. A woman that cooks well. A woman that is wealthy.
But most importantly, those four women must not know about one another.
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 06, 2008 8:29:07 PM
I can see this would be my cat...lol
[Metallark] Saturday, December 06, 2008 8:08:48 PM
OOOOOOUCH! Great one MG.
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 06, 2008 10:56:19 AM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 06, 2008 10:54:43 AM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 06, 2008 10:52:04 AM
LOL
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, December 05, 2008 8:18:30 PM
Well this one about sums it up for me..... LOL
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, December 05, 2008 4:02:13 PM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, December 05, 2008 3:17:51 PM
[Metallark] Friday, November 28, 2008 6:26:11 AM
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled
with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'
Pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package n the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'
Edited at: Friday, November 28, 2008 6:36:43 AM
[Metallark] Friday, November 28, 2008 6:20:15 AM
New "Spread the Wealth" pencil sharpener. Every US taxpayer will be mailed one of these with the new 2008 IRS tax forms.
Be a-watching' in your mail box!
Edited at: Friday, November 28, 2008 6:21:01 AM Edited at: Friday, November 28, 2008 6:21:48 AM
[Metallark] Friday, November 28, 2008 6:14:47 AM
TURKEY RECIPE~Better Late, Than Never I thought this sounded good! Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for those who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.
8 - 15 lb. turkey 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.) 1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT) Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room, it's done.
And, you thought I didn't cook...
Edited at: Friday, November 28, 2008 6:15:44 AM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Tuesday, November 25, 2008 3:08:42 PM
LOL
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Tuesday, November 25, 2008 3:07:43 PM
[Deep Freeze] Friday, November 21, 2008 5:02:55 PM
I did NOT need to know this!! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by stratlover from Friday, November 21, 2008 5:01:52 PM)
stratlover wrote:
Why, its because I just had a checkup at a gynecologist. What were you thinking? Or, maybe it has something to do with one of the jokes I posted...
Yeah, I will do my best... Photoshop is waiting.
Deep Freeze wrote:
Yes, you have spelled gynecologist correctly. Why you have, I do notwant to know!! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would love to see what you have in mind as far as art. We have someone working on it now and I am sure any suggestions are welcome!!!
stratlover wrote:
Good to see you again too. Ive been paying close attention to the project thread lately, and as it happens I may just have a surprise for you guys in the cover art department... Not making any promises yet, but I do have a weekend in front of me and a good idea. I will contact you if it comes out right.
Oh, and enlighten me, o great sage of all things grammar (j/k)... Is "Gynecologist" correct?
Deep Freeze wrote:
Sometimes you need not be the author. Timing is everything! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good to see you, my friend.
stratlover wrote:
Dont give me too much credit... It came in the e-mail today. I just translated the shit.
Yes, you have spelled gynecologist correctly. Why you have, I do notwant to know!! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would love to see what you have in mind as far as art. We have someone working on it now and I am sure any suggestions are welcome!!!
stratlover wrote:
Good to see you again too. Ive been paying close attention to the project thread lately, and as it happens I may just have a surprise for you guys in the cover art department... Not making any promises yet, but I do have a weekend in front of me and a good idea. I will contact you if it comes out right.
Oh, and enlighten me, o great sage of all things grammar (j/k)... Is "Gynecologist" correct?
Deep Freeze wrote:
Sometimes you need not be the author. Timing is everything! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good to see you, my friend.
stratlover wrote:
Dont give me too much credit... It came in the e-mail today. I just translated the shit.
Dancing - A vertical expression of a horizontal desire
Economist - Somebody who will tomorrow know why the things he predicted yesterday didnt come true today
Gynecologist - A person that works in a place where others have fun
Marriage - A union of two people that are trying to work out problems that they wouldnt have, had they stayed single
Pessimist - An optimist with experience
Alarm clock - A device made for waking people that dont have small kids
Superstar - A person that works for years to become famous, but when that happens, he/she wears big black glasses to avoid being reckognised.
A computer expert - A person that solves problems you didnt know you had
Headache - The most popular form of contraception
[Deep Freeze] Friday, November 21, 2008 4:42:47 PM
Yes, you have spelled gynecologist correctly. Why you have, I do notwant to know!! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would love to see what you have in mind as far as art. We have someone working on it now and I am sure any suggestions are welcome!!! [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by stratlover from Friday, November 21, 2008 4:39:07 PM)
stratlover wrote:
Good to see you again too. Ive been paying close attention to the project thread lately, and as it happens I may just have a surprise for you guys in the cover art department... Not making any promises yet, but I do have a weekend in front of me and a good idea. I will contact you if it comes out right.
Oh, and enlighten me, o great sage of all things grammar (j/k)... Is "Gynecologist" correct?
Deep Freeze wrote:
Sometimes you need not be the author. Timing is everything! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good to see you, my friend.
stratlover wrote:
Dont give me too much credit... It came in the e-mail today. I just translated the shit.
Dancing - A vertical expression of a horizontal desire
Economist - Somebody who will tomorrow know why the things he predicted yesterday didnt come true today
Gynecologist - A person that works in a place where others have fun
Marriage - A union of two people that are trying to work out problems that they wouldnt have, had they stayed single
Pessimist - An optimist with experience
Alarm clock - A device made for waking people that dont have small kids
Superstar - A person that works for years to become famous, but when that happens, he/she wears big black glasses to avoid being reckognised.
A computer expert - A person that solves problems you didnt know you had
Headache - The most popular form of contraception
[_strat_] Friday, November 21, 2008 4:39:07 PM
Good to see you again too. Ive been paying close attention to the project thread lately, and as it happens I may just have a surprise for you guys in the cover art department... Not making any promises yet, but I do have a weekend in front of me and a good idea. I will contact you if it comes out right.
Oh, and enlighten me, o great sage of all things grammar (j/k)... Is "Gynecologist" correct? [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Friday, November 21, 2008 4:35:21 PM)
Deep Freeze wrote:
Sometimes you need not be the author. Timing is everything! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good to see you, my friend.
stratlover wrote:
Dont give me too much credit... It came in the e-mail today. I just translated the shit.
Dancing - A vertical expression of a horizontal desire
Economist - Somebody who will tomorrow know why the things he predicted yesterday didnt come true today
Gynecologist - A person that works in a place where others have fun
Marriage - A union of two people that are trying to work out problems that they wouldnt have, had they stayed single
Pessimist - An optimist with experience
Alarm clock - A device made for waking people that dont have small kids
Superstar - A person that works for years to become famous, but when that happens, he/she wears big black glasses to avoid being reckognised.
A computer expert - A person that solves problems you didnt know you had
Headache - The most popular form of contraception
[Deep Freeze] Friday, November 21, 2008 4:35:21 PM
Sometimes you need not be the author. Timing is everything! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good to see you, my friend. [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by stratlover from Friday, November 21, 2008 4:34:08 PM)
stratlover wrote:
Dont give me too much credit... It came in the e-mail today. I just translated the shit.
Dancing - A vertical expression of a horizontal desire
Economist - Somebody who will tomorrow know why the things he predicted yesterday didnt come true today
Gynecologist - A person that works in a place where others have fun
Marriage - A union of two people that are trying to work out problems that they wouldnt have, had they stayed single
Pessimist - An optimist with experience
Alarm clock - A device made for waking people that dont have small kids
Superstar - A person that works for years to become famous, but when that happens, he/she wears big black glasses to avoid being reckognised.
A computer expert - A person that solves problems you didnt know you had
Headache - The most popular form of contraception
[_strat_] Friday, November 21, 2008 4:34:08 PM
Dont give me too much credit... It came in the e-mail today. I just translated the shit. [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by Deep Freeze from Friday, November 21, 2008 4:32:58 PM)
Dancing - A vertical expression of a horizontal desire
Economist - Somebody who will tomorrow know why the things he predicted yesterday didnt come true today
Gynecologist - A person that works in a place where others have fun
Marriage - A union of two people that are trying to work out problems that they wouldnt have, had they stayed single
Pessimist - An optimist with experience
Alarm clock - A device made for waking people that dont have small kids
Superstar - A person that works for years to become famous, but when that happens, he/she wears big black glasses to avoid being reckognised.
A computer expert - A person that solves problems you didnt know you had
Headache - The most popular form of contraception
[Deep Freeze] Friday, November 21, 2008 4:32:58 PM
HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by stratlover from Friday, November 21, 2008 4:30:56 PM)
stratlover wrote:
DEFINITIONS:
Dancing - A vertical expression of a horizontal desire
Economist - Somebody who will tomorrow know why the things he predicted yesterday didnt come true today
Gynecologist - A person that works in a place where others have fun
Marriage - A union of two people that are trying to work out problems that they wouldnt have, had they stayed single
Pessimist - An optimist with experience
Alarm clock - A device made for waking people that dont have small kids
Superstar - A person that works for years to become famous, but when that happens, he/she wears big black glasses to avoid being reckognised.
A computer expert - A person that solves problems you didnt know you had
Headache - The most popular form of contraception
[_strat_] Friday, November 21, 2008 4:30:56 PM
DEFINITIONS:
Dancing - A vertical expression of a horizontal desire
Economist - Somebody who will tomorrow know why the things he predicted yesterday didnt come true today
Gynecologist - A person that works in a place where others have fun
Marriage - A union of two people that are trying to work out problems that they wouldnt have, had they stayed single
Pessimist - An optimist with experience
Alarm clock - A device made for waking people that dont have small kids
Superstar - A person that works for years to become famous, but when that happens, he/she wears big black glasses to avoid being reckognised.
A computer expert - A person that solves problems you didnt know you had
Headache - The most popular form of contraception
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Thursday, November 20, 2008 5:24:22 PM
[Soylentgreen4u] Saturday, November 15, 2008 8:05:22 PM
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT...MY TAIL IS WAGGING AGAIN...NOW SCRATCH ME BEHIND THE EAR AND TELL ME WHAT A GOOD BOY I AM!... [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by MG_Metalgoddess from Saturday, November 15, 2008 7:27:15 PM)
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
Now you are trying to make me feel guilty... MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I suppose I will have to put you on the back-rub list too now........ Dammitt.... LOL
Who loves ya baby!!!!
M~
Soylentgreen4u wrote:
THAT'S RIGHT...KICK A GUY WHEN HE'S DOWN...YOU KNOW HOW SAD I AM OVER MY TEAM LOSING AND YOU DO THIS....WELL AREN'T YOU A PILE OF SOFT PILLOWS ON A SUNNY DAY?... ....SHAME,SHAME,SHAME!...YOU COULD OF AT LEAST WAITED UNTIL I HAD A BEER OR TWO IN ME....NICE!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
SOy was this you.... LMAO
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, November 15, 2008 7:27:15 PM
Now you are trying to make me feel guilty... MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I suppose I will have to put you on the back-rub list too now........ Dammitt.... LOL
THAT'S RIGHT...KICK A GUY WHEN HE'S DOWN...YOU KNOW HOW SAD I AM OVER MY TEAM LOSING AND YOU DO THIS....WELL AREN'T YOU A PILE OF SOFT PILLOWS ON A SUNNY DAY?... ....SHAME,SHAME,SHAME!...YOU COULD OF AT LEAST WAITED UNTIL I HAD A BEER OR TWO IN ME....NICE!
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
SOy was this you.... LMAO
[Soylentgreen4u] Saturday, November 15, 2008 7:13:36 PM
THAT'S RIGHT...KICK A GUY WHEN HE'S DOWN...YOU KNOW HOW SAD I AM OVER MY TEAM LOSING AND YOU DO THIS....WELL AREN'T YOU A PILE OF SOFT PILLOWS ON A SUNNY DAY?... ....SHAME,SHAME,SHAME!...YOU COULD OF AT LEAST WAITED UNTIL I HAD A BEER OR TWO IN ME....NICE! [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by MG_Metalgoddess from Saturday, November 15, 2008 6:50:08 PM)
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
SOy was this you.... LMAO
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, November 15, 2008 7:11:40 PM
lol
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, November 15, 2008 6:50:08 PM
SOy was this you.... LMAO
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, November 15, 2008 6:46:18 PM
lol
[ron h] Wednesday, November 12, 2008 5:03:07 AM
Now that is funny!!!!
Could you e-mail that to me?? Please?? [Show/Hide Quoted Message](Quoting Message by MG_Metalgoddess from Tuesday, November 11, 2008 8:45:46 PM)
MG_Metalgoddess wrote:
MUahhhhhhhhh they dont call me Lady Evil for Nothing
Dammit Bev, you're gonna make me wake the house up from lmao!!! 
) LOL
LOL!
....SHAME,SHAME,SHAME!
...YOU COULD OF AT LEAST WAITED UNTIL I HAD A BEER OR TWO IN ME....NICE!
lol
lol
